Contributed Post
Divorce can be a painful and challenging subject and is a topic that is discussed widely online. However, much of the discussion is from a female’s point of view, and while this view is one that is important, is also crucial to redress the balance and get a guy’s perspective as well. That is why I have put together the short piece below on the highs and lows of this life experience from a man’s POV. Read on to find out more, and to get some advice and encouragement for this, one of life’s most difficult times.
High – Autonomy
One of the silver linings that can emerge from the difficult situation that is divorce is that it can provide an opportunity for more autonomy over your own life decisions and directions.
In fact, when you exist as apart of a larger group like a family you often have to subjugate your wants and need to what suits the collective better. However, when you decouple from your partner, there is no longer that pressure to please them and even put their well being ahead of your own anymore. Something that can be hugely freeing, if a little daunting to begin with.
Low – Breakdown of the family unit
One of the hardest things for guys in a divorce is that the family unit they have been used to living in breaks down. What this means is that they may not actually get to see their kids on a daily basis, something that can be incredibly difficult for a devoted father.
In fact, the trend in such cases is still towards awarding custody to the mother rather than the father. Although, you can get some child custody help from a good lawyer if you would like to fight for joint or sole guardianship of your children. Of course, before you do so, you must think carefully about whether this will be best for all involved and ensure that you aren’t making an emotional knee-jerk reaction to the discomfort the divorce has caused.
High – Dating
Another positive to spring from a divorce is that it allows us to get back out there, and start to date again. Of course, while this can be a tad nerve-wracking, it can also be exhilarating as well.
Add to that all the new ways of meeting people such as online dating sites and even swipeable apps, and this can be a genuinely enjoyable new experience for someone that has had their romantic life defined by a committed relationship.
Low – Loneliness
Although, it is worth noting that feeling of loneliness are familiar for guys as well as girls after a divorce, even when they do have a healthy dating life. This is because marriage is often based around companionship and unless you jump straight into another serious relationship you won’t necessarily get the close emotional intimacy that you are missing.
However, all’s not lost because being single can will provide you with an excellent opportunity to reconnection in a more emotional close way with friends and other family members. Something that you may not have had the emotional energy or time for while still being married.
