I have the house to myself for a few days, which means my usual schedule has been replaced with slothful behavior. I’m okay with that, I think I’ve earned some down time, but I think it reached a breaking point yesterday when …
How do I say this?
When I realized I was sprawled out on the couch, in my boxers, watching South Park and eating an obscenely huge bowl of pudding.
Instant shame.
Not shame enough to put down the pudding, mind you, because pudding is delicious.
Say it like it sounds. "Pudding. Puuuddinnngg."
Makes you feel great just saying it like that, doesn't it?
I envy you. I really, really do.
Don't you know the following equation:
Home Alone = eating whateverthefuck you feel like on the couch while watching bad/good tv and having no one over your shoulder to make fun of you.