Star Trek: The Voyage Home is the best thing since Hot Pockets

“Save the Whales.” It’s kind of a shame that the unofficial slogan of a noble cause such as not killing a bunch of shit that doesn’t need killing has over the years turned into an object of ridicule, but it has. Now you mockingly reference the save the whales movement to insult people who are earnest in their support of the environment and protecting endangered animals. It’s simple, direct, and everyone knows you’re being snarky when you say it. Weird.

Also weird is that the Star Trek franchise devoted an entire movie to an often cringe-inducing, heavy-handed lecture on why pollution is bad and hunting whales is even worse.

But you know what the weirdest thing of all is?

It’s how against all odds this movie managed to be so much goddamn fun.

I hadn’t seen Star Trek: Save the Whales since it came out, and I have to be honest: I’ve dismissed it ever since. In my memory it was That Silly Whale movie with the Trek team jumping back in time (silly) and having wacky 20th Century adventures (silly) in order to steal some whales (silly) so they can go back to the future and chase away a giant alien ship that talks to whales (silly) because ship is messing up the Earth and Starfleet can’t do anything about it.

All of those things ARE silly, too, yet they manage to be a total blast. I’m still a little floored at how much fun I had watching this. I was taken in by all the heist stuff. I laughed out loud many times. I grinned from ear to ear many more. I was even willing to ignore some of the heavy-handed lecturing that was clumsily injected into the movie, often by way of the slightly irritating blond Kirk befriends, for no other reason than I was having too much fun to care.

The Voyage Home picks up right where The Search for Spock left off, which itself picked up literally hours after The Wrath of Khan. I love that approach. It makes these three films into a single epic about companionship, loyalty, and the love these people have for one another. That the final chapter of that trilogy is brisk, light-hearted and fun seems appropriate. In many ways, The Voyage Home is a love letter to fans.

As a love letter to fans, chock full o’ fan service and winks and humor that could only come across with these specific characters, someone like me, a total Trek casual, might be in danger of feeling a bit left out.

Not so. The Voyage Home has all the warmth The Search For Spock lacks, and you don’t need to be steeped in Trek lore to appreciate it. Every beat is perfect. Scotty and Bones in the manufacturing plant is hilarious. Chekov and Uhura are an unlikely team for a spy mission, but they’re good fun. Sulu’s helicopter adventures are WAY too brief, because that was also fun. The hospital rescue is absurd and – here’s that word again – fun. And come on, who doesn’t smile at Spock swimming with whales and Kirk dodging uncomfortable questions about why people keep calling him admiral?

There is a threat around which all of this revolves, a giant phallic probe that is wreaking havoc to the Earth, but it kind of doesn’t matter. It’s just a bookend for the REAL adventure, which is the crew figuring out how to break into a place and steal some shit. And man, does that stuff ever shine.

In many ways, The Voyage Home is a testament to the power of this franchise and, more importantly, to the power of this group of actors. That’s because NOTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE SHOULD WORK. The entire premise is RIDICULOUS. Playing the whole fish out of water (har har!) gag with the Trek crew is an absurd choice for a feature film. A tongue-in-cheek adventure to wrap up a fairly grim trilogy is a bold and risky choice.

Yet it works. Dammit, it works.

The reason why it works is because as much as many of these actors were secretly united in their off-screen disdain for William Shatner, on-screen they had a great chemistry that really sang when given a good script.

And the script here is indeed good. The dialogue is charming and funny. It’s breezy enough so that we’re willing to ignore the in-your-face environmental sloganeering, and the story gives us stakes enough, both big and small, to actually care about what’s happening on screen. The pacing is tight. There are few dull moments. The movie delights in itself, and we can’t help but delight at being along for the ride. And on and on and on.

There is no reason for this movie to work, but it does, and it does in spades.

Against all odds, I absolutely LOVED this.