Tag Archive: rants

“Why don’t Muslims protest against ISIS?” and other idiotic questions

June 17, 2016 4 Comments

It’s exceedingly rare that I stray into politics here, or on any public forum, for that matter — you know what they say about sleeping with dogs — but a few comments I’ve seen online the last few days have caused my knee to jerk. Need to get this out of my system. In the wake of the horrific attack in Orlando, Florida, the conversation looks much the same as it does every time there is a mass shooting. The same debate about guns. The same debate about rights. The same endless talking in circles. The same reductive, mindless repetition of the same thoughtless, meme-driven arguments by people on all sides. It’s incredibly tiresome, especially when the ground is stained with the blood of innocent…
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Politics, Rants

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5 Questions that should always be met with frothing incredulity

April 30, 2016 4 Comments

Look, if anyone asks you one of these questions, you ought to reconsider your relationship with them. Do you want butter on that corn muffin? Yes, of course I want butter on my goddamn corn muffin, do I look like a savage to you? This is so dumb I don’t even know where to start. Do you want cheese on your burger? The only people who should ever ask a question as stupid as this had better be people with fatal cheese allergies who just assume everyone else will die when they eat cheese, too, because CHEESE BELONGS ON EVERYTHING. Period. End of story. Another? Is that even a question? Of COURSE I want another! I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want another! Life is miserable! The future is…
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Random Musings, Rants

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Why you should never write for the Huffington Post

February 22, 2016 3 Comments

Imagine for a moment that you want to hire chefs to prepare food at your chain of restaurants, but you don’t want to pay those chefs. You want them to volunteer.  And when asked why you believe that’s a valid way to do business, this is what you tell people: “If I was paying someone to cook something because I want to draw in customers, that’s not a real authentic way of cooking. When somebody cooks something for us, we know it’s real, we know they want to cook it. It’s not been forced or paid for. I think that’s something to be proud of.” You’d be laughed out of the room, and rightfully so. A few chefs might even be inclined to throat-punch you…
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Rants, Writing

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Tech company founder’s rant on the homeless shows that he’s a giant asshole

February 19, 2016 0 Comments

Justin Keller, the founder of Commando.io, some tech company that I can’t be bothered to look into because screw this guy, recently ranted about the homeless in his neighborhood. But his rant wasn’t a plea to help them or a rant decrying the conditions that have made them homeless in the first place. No, it was a rant explaining why he doesn’t want to see those disgusting people. A quote: “I know people are frustrated about gentrification happening in the city, but the reality is, we live in a free market society. The wealthy working people have earned their right to live in the city. They went out, got an education, work hard, and earned it. I shouldn’t have to worry about being accosted. I…
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Rants, Uncategorized

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In which I yell at a cloud

January 8, 2016 0 Comments

Yes, I’m fine with my crummy old pay-as-you-go cell phone. To tell you the truth, I’d be fine even without that. I don’t need to text with you all day. You don’t need to reach me wherever I happen to be. Go away. I love video games. I have played them my entire life. But video game players are the worst people in the world. The second worst people in the world are Star Wars fans. Also, I am a huge Star Wars fan. Speaking of Star Wars, we went from the prequels, which would get you attacked if you dared suggest maybe they were only 99% suck instead of 100% suck, to The Force Awakens, for which you’ll get attacked if you say it’s…
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Rants, Uncategorized

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