Tag Archive: movie reviews
Eric San Juan
April 20, 2016
The rule of thumb on Trek films is said to be that even numbered films are good, odd numbered films are not. I’m of the view that The Motion Picture is a fine and enjoyable (albeit slow) bit of filmmaking, but if I concede that my view on that movie is an outlier, then I also have to concede that the even/odd theory works pretty well, because The Final Frontier is kind of a terrible. From the groan-worthy Kirk rock climbing sequence to the vague nature of what the crew are facing to the Klingons inserted into the movie solely to give Kirk a deus ex machina rescue in the end, very little about this movie works. Even the humor feels forced and out of…
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Eric San Juan
April 18, 2016
“Save the Whales.” It’s kind of a shame that the unofficial slogan of a noble cause such as not killing a bunch of shit that doesn’t need killing has over the years turned into an object of ridicule, but it has. Now you mockingly reference the save the whales movement to insult people who are earnest in their support of the environment and protecting endangered animals. It’s simple, direct, and everyone knows you’re being snarky when you say it. Weird. Also weird is that the Star Trek franchise devoted an entire movie to an often cringe-inducing, heavy-handed lecture on why pollution is bad and hunting whales is even worse. But you know what the weirdest thing of all is? It’s how against all odds this movie managed to be so…
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Eric San Juan
April 13, 2016
If Star Trek: The Motion Picture is universally considered a misguided misstep for the beloved franchise, The Wrath of Khan is the opposite, a universally beloved movie that almost every Trek fan considers the best. That feeling extends outside of Trek fandom, too. Even non-Trek fans concede that The Wrath of Khan is not just good Trek, it’s just plain good, a movie that transcends its franchise and is simply one of the best of the sci-fi genre. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ranked list of these movies that didn’t place it on top. Sure, there are some bullshit measurements that don’t make a ton of sense. IMDB has Star Trek Into Darkness rated higher than Khan, which is so absurdly…
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Eric San Juan
December 18, 2015
Technically, I wrote this review 10 years ago for a site called DVDinmyPants.com. That site is long gone, though (you can only find it on the Wayback Machine), and since this is the greatest review in the history of film reviews (and also because of Star Wars mania right now), I’m reposting it here. It’s purposely over the top, but also completely sincere: The Empire Strikes Back Let’s cut right to the chase: I fall into the camp that declares The Empire Strikes Back the best of the Star Wars films. Which means I also fall into the camp of people who actually have an opinion regarding what the best Star Wars film is. Which means some of you are probably surfing off to another page…
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Eric San Juan
October 27, 2015
It was kind of hard to escape Jurassic World this summer. The fourth movie in the Jurassic Park series (though it conveniently ignored the first two sequels), it was a HUGE smash hit, raking in $1.6 billion worldwide and jumping to the #3 spot for all time box office. Even adjusted for inflation, it sits at #23 for all time box office. Not too shabby. What was shabby was this film. And I’m going to tell you why. On paper, I should have fallen head over heels for it. I LOVE dinosaurs. I LOVE dinosaur movies. I LOVE the Jurassic Park series, both books and movies, even the subpar installments like Jurassic Park 3. Big creatures destroying stuff? Loads of spectacle? A non-stop adventure filled…
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