Justin Tailor, the annoying spammer from Smacfire who just won’t give up

For various reasons, this website draws me a fairly good amount of spam.

Not a big deal, really. It’s the cost of being online in this way. These days, most spam and junk mail filters are pretty good, and most spammers disappear pretty quick. The ones who really tickle me, however, are the ones who just won’t give up.Take Justin Tailor, for instance, from a website I won’t link here because I’m certainly not going to boost the guy. He first contacted me back in October with a pretty generic sales pitch for pretty generic services that anyone with a website probably gets in their junk box all the time. Justin Tailor is from Smacfire, and Smacfire sends SPAM:

Dear Business Owner,

We are in the business of helping people develop their websites. We have looked at your site and have noticed errors that interfere with how you do business on the internet. It changes fast and you have to keep up or be left behind.

Technically, we found pages that returned 4XX status code upon request, images with no ALT text, pages with no meta description tag, or no unique meta description, or simply having titles that are too long. Some of that terminology may mean very little to you unless you are a programmer. That is normal, but it means something to us because that is what we do. I guarantee you will see a drastic change in your Google search ranking once these problems are fixed.

If you are interested in improving your site and your ability to do business on the internet, we can send you an audit report and estimate at no obligation. Our services range from quick one-time fixes to more extensive follow-up services. Again, there is no obligation. Let us show you what we can do.

Best,
Justin Tailor
Business Developer
WEBSITE REDACTED
3111 S Dixie Hwy # 309, West Palm Beach, FL 33405, USA
PH: 561-767-5252
Mail: sales@smacfire.com

Pretty standard stuff. If you have a website and check your junk box, you’ll see many like it. This one slipped through the spam filters, but I flagged it and moved on with my life, as you did.

But Justin, he doesn’t give up. Sometimes I check my spam box to make sure nothing important got caught up in the filters, and lo and behind what do I see? A stack of emails from him. He seemed to resurface in January:

Greetings!
I haven’t heard back from you. Would there be a good time to explore in depth strategies to boost your website engagement. Does it still make sense to discuss about your website?

Best,

Justin Tailor

Gee, Justin, I can’t imagine why you haven’t heard from me. Surely it’s a mystery!

That was January 16. Also got one back on January 11. Got another on January 19. Then another on January 25. And on January 31, well, Justin wanted to touch base again. You know, just in case I wanted to talk with him about his amazing services:

Hi,

I want to send you one last e-mail. I’m sure you’re busy, so I understand if you just haven’t gotten a chance to check out my last email to see how it could help your business. 

If you still want to check it out, I can send you an audit report and estimate at no obligation.

Thanks for the concern, Justin! And I’m so glad there is no obligation! So nice, and not at all buzzwords.

But Justin Tailor’s “one last e-mail” wasn’t his last one, presumably because Justin doesn’t understand what “last” means. On February 2, Justin followed up one “last” time:

I want to send you one last e-mail. I’m sure you’re busy, so I understand if you just haven’t get a chance to check out my last email to see how it could help your business.

“Last.” You keep using that work. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

It wasn’t one last time, of course. Justin might be stuck in a loop! I hope he’s okay, because a few hours ago he reached out yet again, perhaps because the neighbor’s child escaped from his basement and as a result he had nothing better to do that day:

Hi,
I was checking my mail and it would seem that I didn’t get a reaction to the mail I kept in touch with you, am I off-base? It is safe to say that you are keen on our digital marketing  program? It would be ideal if you propose your concern and requirements. 
If not please tell us so I can quit being a subsequent irritation.

Best,

Justin Tailor

Is Justin under the impression that he’s just now becoming an irritation? Is Justin figuring out that not acknowledging him even once is probably a pretty good sign that I have no interest in him, his service, or the things he does to stray dogs in his tool shed? If Justin becoming self-aware?

Now, I’m aware that there isn’t a real person behind these emails. That they’re blasted out automatically from a bot that spits them out at given intervals. Nonetheless, I do wonder if Justin Tailor himself is a real person, and if he is, how much he hates himself.

Now the question is, how long until his next one?

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