Don’t Be A Worry Weed: Your Garden Problems Solved

Contributed Post

Worry weed definition #1: A type of marijuana that causes the user to become paranoid.

Worry weed definition #2: For the purposes of this article, as we are entirely making this definition up, somebody who worries about the needs of their garden (whether or not they have taken an illegal substance).

Please note: There is no such weed as a worry weed. Let’s just call it creative license!


With that preamble out of the way, we can get to the nitty-gritty of the article. Should you own a garden (whether you have green fingers or not), you are bound to have come across at least some of the problems mentioned in this article. While we can’t list every issue you may have had – we aren’t mind readers, after all – we have still tried to cover a range of possible bases. Oh, and we have also created an agony uncle to answer the problems we are covering, so welcome to Gardener George and his incredible expertise.


  1. Dear Gardener George, every summer my garden is invaded by an array of pests, from bugs to slugs, and they make a mockery of the hard work I have put in over the year. I could buy pesticides from the local store, but as I have kids and pets, I am looking for a safer way to dispose of these pests (the bugs, not my kids and pets). Please help.

Yours completely bugged off, Mrs. Eco Friendly



Gardener George says: Thankfully, there are a number of natural ways for you to dispose of these garden pests without causing your loved one’s harm. From homemade remedies to traps and barriers, there is some really helpful advice on this infographic that will help you get rid of those nuisance pests over the summer, and throughout the year.


  1. Dear Gardener George, I enjoy sunbathing during the summer, but unfortunately, I have a peeping Tom next door who enjoys a peek at my bronzed exterior whenever I try and soak up the sun. Please help!

Yours beautifully, Ms. H Otbod


Gardener George says: You deserve your privacy, so it’s in your right to keep your prying neighbors out. Aside from calling the police, you should put up a fence around your perimeter, or consider fast growing hedge plants to ensure you get the privacy you need before summer arrives. Alternatively, a vine-covered pergola provides a shady nook, or you could opt for a few lattice panels as a less-expensive solution.


  1. Dear Gardener George, there has been a spate of burglaries in the neighborhood recently. It’s not the flat screen tv’s that are getting stolen, but the garden gnomes. Why anybody would want to take them is beyond me, but considering I have some expensive furniture outside as well, I am worried a green-fingered… sorry, light-fingered miscreant will get into my garden.


Yours in a fluster,  Mr. B Wildered

Missing: Gnomey the Gnome!  (image)


Gardener George says: Garden thieves are on the rise, and they can make a lot of money by selling your tools, decorations, prized perennials, and even garden gnomes on to others. Your first line of defense needs to be your perimeter, so strengthen your fence and consider a trellis to keep burglars out. Lighting is also important, especially at night or in shaded areas, so consider your options. Gooseneck outdoor lights are both practical and aesthetically pleasing, and motion-sensored security lighting will shed light on the garden thief’s misdeeds.


  1. Dear Gardener George, I would love a well-maintained garden, but I just don’t have the time/motivation to get the work done myself. Is there anything you can do about it? Perhaps I could pay you to do the work for me.

Yours wearily, Mr. L Azybones


Gardener George says: I am an entirely fictional character, so the chances of me doing your garden up for you is slim to none. Considering you are also fictional, we have also run into a bit of an impasse. Still, for those people like you, we recommend you read our article on how to keep a low-maintenance garden if time (or motivation) is a big issue for you.


  1. Dear Gardener George, the annual ‘garden of the year’ contest is coming up soon, and I am sure I am destined to fail. I have gone green with envy at what my neighbours have managed to achieve – they have every colour of the rainbow across their garden – and my garden looks like a sinkhole in comparison. I don’t have the budget to create their paradise, so what should I do?

Yours blandly, Mr. G Ardentip

Gardener George says: There are loads of ways to enhance your garden’s beauty, from adding seasonal flowers that spring forth in the summer, to adding colour with themed groups when you’re planting, and adding a fresh lick of paint to your garden perimeters. Check out our brilliant budget ideas for starters, and then look at these beautifying tips to make your neighbor’s green with envy for a change.


We hope Gardener George has helped you with some of your garden problems. If you have any other issues that this garden sage hasn’t covered, drop us a line in the comments section below and our beloved readers may be able to pass on a word of knowledge to help you out. Thanks for reading.