Films

Posts about movie, actors, and film in general

Alien Covenant commits the worst possible sin: It’s boring

WARNING: The following contains minor, unspecific spoilers. About the worst crime an Alien film can commit is to be boring. So lock ‘em up and throw away the key, boys. This one is caught, tried and convicted. Covenant is an attempt to right the franchise after the mixed reception received by Prometheus, returning it to its roots and making it squarely about the xenomorph and bloody scares. The problem with this approach is that Prometheus’s issue was never that it strayed too far from the Alien mythos or that it didn’t adhere to the Alien formula, it’s that so much of it was poorly written and that the characters were dumber than a pail of shit left out in the sun after a Kid Rock…
Read more

The Fast & the Furious, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Franchise

The last movies I ever expected to love were those ridiculous The Fast & the Furious flicks. Meathead street racer nonsense starring silly actors doing silly things in silly suped up cars as annoying as the ones that buzz around at 1am being far louder than a little lime green import has any right to be? Ugh. No. Several friends kept insisting the series was secretly amazing, though, a bunch of movies that were more like comic books come to life than, say, the latest Batman or Superman movie or Caligula. Okay, okay, fine. Facing some empty late nights and some bags of chips that needed eating, I figured I’d marathon the movies. Figured they’d at least give me something to do when trying to shut down…
Read more

Why Are Marvel’s Blu-Ray Releases So Mediocre?

These days, Marvel Studios make THE tentpole action flicks. With a combination of fun characters, good direction, solid stories, huge spectacle, and a formula that just works, they’ve created an ongoing, interwoven geek movie franchise that has every other studio scrambling to catch up. Make no mistake, I’m an unabashed fan. I don’t pretend they are classic cinema — they’re just comic book movies — but they do something important: they consistently make me feel like I’m 12 again, only without all the self-loathing and zits. From the tense drama of The Winter Soldier to the charming adventure of Ant-Man to the hilarious space adventure of Guardians of the Galaxy, I love this stuff. So do a LOT of people. Marvel movies are YUGE. Four of them…
Read more

Basking in the majesty of Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

Let’s talk about David Lean’s landmark epic Lawrence Of Arabia. By now, the film’s reputation is well established. Considered by many to be one of the greatest films of all time (it certainly ranks high on my personal list), in 1962 Lawrence Of Arabia garnered seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Peter O’Toole’s tortured performance is the stuff of legend, and its on-screen vistas have inspired filmmakers from Stephen Spielberg to Martin Scorsese to Peter Jackson. Even people who have never seen it at least know of its lofty reputation. But some classic films of yesteryear have a way of surviving on praise rather than lasting merit; people cite a film for greatness simply because you’re supposed to, others repeat what they’ve heard, and before long…
Read more

It’s time to watch every Star Wars trailer in a row, to prepare for Rogue One awesomeness

I’m surprised I haven’t posted about Star Wars more often, considering it’s been part of my like for about as long as I’ve been been walking and talking. Saw the original in the theater when I was a wee lad, had the comics, had the toys, listened to the audio version on vinyl records with my little kid’s turntable. The whole damn Star Wars experience. Later, I read the books, played the games, and had the bitter Internet debates. Maybe that last part is why. Is there anything left to be said about Star Wars other than “it’s awesome” or “George Lucas ruined my childhood and destroyed everything I hold dear, so I will hold a grudge against him until my final days, praying for…
Read more